


The 'Other'

by MerenwenElendil



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Game Dialogue, Modern Girl in Thedas, Slight Cannon divergence, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:26:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerenwenElendil/pseuds/MerenwenElendil
Summary: Ellen Dale was your average University student. Until she died.Then - somehow- she woke up in Thedas, a world she's never heard of, in a body that does not belong to her, amidst the chaotic aftermath of the explosion at the conclave.Can Ellen - now Emrys - learn to trust not only herself - her new self - but those around her as well?Another Modern Girl in Thedas story!





	1. Wait, what?

**Author's Note:**

> “From childhood's hour I have not been  
> As others were; I have not seen"  
> \- Edgar Allen Poe

As I hung from the claws of the magister-who-would-be-god, burning red hot pain searing up my arm, the thought flitted through my mind, _I am not supposed to be here_ , _this isn’t possibly real._

I was quickly brought back into my current reality as he spoke.

“…Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty.”

And then he tossed me like a ragdoll into the trebuchet.

Well, at least I know the pain is real.

I coughed out my pain, and scrambled over to a blade that had been abandoned on the trebuchet platform, holding it out in front of me, while shaking my left hand. The burning had stopped, and was back to it’s regular, always-slightly-asleep-prickling. Trying to gain my footing again, as my eyes searched frantically at the mountain range just behind the monster and his pet dragon.

_Did I miss it? Did I miss the signal?_

“The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.”

I brought my eyes back to the nightmarish figure before me, “Oh. And here I thought you were done monologuing.” I managed to speak with much more bravado than I was feeling.

The monster snarled at me, and started moving towards me again.

“So be it,” He continued as though I had said nothing, “I will begin again. Find another way to give this world the nation – and _god_ – it requires.”

I was about to spit another snarky comment at him, when what could only be the signal shot up from the treeline. My breath catches in my throat.

“And you. I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You _must_ die.”

I glance from Corypheus, to the lever and back. I take a step forward, moving myself into a ready stance that would probably make the commander cringe. I almost smile at the thought/

“You expect us to surrender and kneel. We will not. You’ll face us all. When we choose!” I paused and gave him a feral smile, “Nighty night, asshat.”

I turn and kick the lever, before running for my life. I spared a look backwards, catching the outrage on Corypheus’s face when he realizes what I have done. 

I let out a slightly crazed laugh, and prayed to all of the gods from this world, and my own, begging them – any of them, if they are listening – that somehow if this was the second time I died, that it be quick.

And then I jumped.

***********************************************

I realize that I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

As you may have noticed, I said previously, “if this was the second time I died”. You may be wondering how exactly that could make any possible sense.

Let me tell you, I’m still trying to figure that out for myself.

Lets go back to the beginning.

My name is – Or was – Ellen Dale.

This is the story of how I died. And then didn’t.

************************************************

“And unless anyone else has any comments or questions…” Professor Ludano paused and looked around the room, over his glasses for a moment. When no one raised their hand, he sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose, “Then we will conclude for the day.”

I watched, trying not to laugh as the first-year students dutifully gathered up their things into their respective bags, at a pace that echoed that of a prisoner trying to make a hasty escape.

When the room cleared moments later I stood from my seat in the back, and made my way up to the front, where Ludano was putting away his lecture notes, at a much more leisurely pace.

“Now, why can’t all students be like you?” He asked without looking up at me.

I smirked.

“Maybe because we can’t all be complete weirdos obsessed with a bygone age and the role of obscure groups in said age.”

He paused and looked at me over the rim of his glasses, a quirked a brow.

I blinked and turned away, moving to clean off the white board. I took a deep breath before speaking again. I sometimes forgot that he was only six years older than me, and not unattractive by any means.

“What I mean to say is, The ‘Other’ in Medieval Europe, just isn’t most people’s cup of tea. I’m almost certain that at least eighty percent of this group took this class to help fill their humanities requirement.” I finished and turned back around, pushing my blond hair out of my eyes, to find him studying me.

“Well I suppose we’re an odd couple… of people, aren’t we?” He said it softly, watching my expression.

I kept my face neutral, trying to ignore the way he deliberately paused on the world couple.

“I don’t think there is anything odd about wanting to know more about the people who had their voice silenced. In fact, I think it’s important. Of course, you already know that. That is why you chose me to be your assistant. Yes?”

He blinked a few times before turning back to his notes. He picked up a stack of papers, split them, and held one half out to me. I moved closer and took them from him.

“These are their essays on a minority of their choosing. I will need those marked for next week’s class.”

He said this all without looking at me.

“Anything else, Professor?”

He paused again, and turned to me. He tilted his head to one side, and appeared to be searching my face for something. I hated when he looked at me like that. I felt like he could read my thoughts.

“Not anything for the moment.”

I let out a long breath and smiled at him.

“Then I will be on my way.”

I left the room as quickly as I could, without making it look like I was fleeing as the students had been. The reason for my escape was very different than the first-years, however.

By the time I got home, it was already dark out. I slammed the door behind me, and tossed down the pile of essays Ludano had given me, on the table that stood in the tiny entrance hall of the apartment.

“You’re late!” an excited squeal came from deeper in the apartment, that I instantly identified as my roommate, “Does that mead you did the dirty with the hot Prof?”

I rolled my eyes, and groaned.

“It’s never going to happen!” I shouted back at her.

I yanked off my coat and toed off my shoes and walked down the hall into our tiny living room. I flopped down on the couch beside her, where she was covered in an outrageous number of blankets, watching the Bachelor.

She paused the TV and looked expectantly at me.

“No.” I said holding up a hand. “I did not sleep with him, I was stuck in traffic. And just so you’re aware, for the hundredth time, I am _not_ going to sleep with any of my Professors, let alone the one I assist.”

She pouted at me.

“You had no issue with it at that swanky gala.”

I groaned, knowing she was going to bring _that_ up again.

“Cathy. That was before he was hired by the University. And I was very drunk. And it was _just a kiss_.”

“Come on!” She squealed, “That’s like practically divine intervention. He was going to be leaving and then he got hired on at the University that you attend, in the same department that you are studying!”

I snorted and rubbed my eyes.

“Yeah maybe divine intervention, saying that it _shouldn’t_ happen! You know the university’s strict policies on student/professor relationships. Quiet frankly if anyone found out, we could be in trouble. Like I might get expelled, simply because it _looks_ like we’re carrying on in a relationship that is more than professional.”

I huffed as I finished my rant, Cathy squinted at me.

“I still think you need to hit that.”

“Argh!” I yelled out and jumped to my feet. “I’m done with you. I’m going for a run.”

I quickly made my way to my room, changing my semi professional looking clothes for my more comfortable work out clothes. I tied my running shoes, and put my ear buds in, and swept out of the apartment, trying to shake off all the thoughts that were plaguing me.

Mainly those of Mason Ludano.

I blasted some nondescript EDM music that Cathy had uploaded to my phone and started jogging my usual path. It had become very dark now, heavy cloud cover had blotted out the stars and moon. I followed the path that went around the back of the apartment building, which resided on the very edge of town, into the trees that lined the road. I had discovered a few months back that there were hiking trails in among the trees, that I now very happily utilize for my runs.

I continually kept my attention to the ground, as it was even darker among the trees, so that I didn’t lose my footing.

I pushed myself to move faster, further into the forested area. Cathy’s voice echoed in my head, among the beats that were vibrating through my skull.

_I still think you need to hit that._

I squeezed my eyes shut, and shook my head. I always picked the wrong man to be interested in. I did not need that drama in my life. Especially not with him.

_But you enjoyed kissing him so much at that gala..._ My mind whispered at me insidiously.

I came to an abrupt stop, breathing hard, ripping the earbuds from my ears. Running usually helped. But it wasn’t this time. My mind just wouldn’t clear.

I leaned up against a tree, closed my eyes and listened to the nighttime sounds around me.

But something was wrong. It was too quiet.

Like the trees, and birds, and bugs were holding their breath.

I opened my eyes, and swallowed down a scream.

There was a man, standing right in front of me.

“Oh.” I said. Trying to keep the fear out of my voice, “I’m sorry I didn’t see you there. I’m usually the only one who’s out here.”

He blinked at me once, his eyes were sharp, and glittered even in the lack of light. They seemed unusually black, but I told myself that it was just my mind playing tricks on me.

“I know.” He spoke quietly, his voice like a threat, a blade being dragged slowly, softly, against your skin. “I know you’re always alone, when you come here.”

I took a step to the side.

“I should be going.”

He took one to match mine.

Then I turned and ran.

I don’t remember what it felt like when he caught up to me and tackled me to the ground.

I don’t remember what it felt like when he wrapped his hands around my throat, as I scratched and punched at him, trying to _get him off_.

I don’t remember the uneasy quiet that fell over me as my vision darkened and my swings at him became weaker and fewer.

I do however, remember the fear.

And wondering if Cathy was going to be alright.

And if Ludano was going to be able to get back those essays to his students in time.

I remember the darkness and the peace that came after that.

And then a flash of green.

*********************************************

My ears were ringing.

_Why are my ears ringing? Why is it so bloody cold in here?_

"Cathy... turn off the damn air. Its October." I mumbled past my hand which rested in front of my face.

I shifted trying to get more comfortable, wondering when my bed had become so hard.

_When had I gone to bed?_

The last thing I remembered was going for my run. And everything going quiet.

Hands around my throat.

I sucked in a sharp breath and shot up, wincing as a loud clanging hit my ears.

_Seriously, what is going on with my ears?_

I blinked furiously trying to clear my vision, hands coming to my throat, touching gently but not finding any tenderness.

Then the realization hit me that the clanging, was coming from chains. On shackles. _That were around my wrists._

I gasped again, and stared down at my hands in disbelief, before looking around the room, noticing for the first time the two men standing by the door in front of me. Standing in full armor with swords drawn.

I swallowed hard. I was very confused.

Suddenly a sharp pain shot up from my hand to the rest of my arm.

My shout accompanied the crackling sound that emanated from an odd green glowing scar that now adorned my hand.

"What... what the _fuck."_

Moments later I am once again cringing, this time from the sharp bang of the door hitting the wall as it is swung open. I blink in the light that comes pouring in, watching as two shadowed figures enter the room.

I hear the men sheath their swords, and realize that there were probably two more men guarding me from behind.

The first woman walks around, and stops behind me, The second steps off to my right, her face shadowed by a hood.

I shake my head trying to clear it.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you know. The conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead."

She moved around me slowly, almost prowling, ready to spring.

"Except for you."

I cough out in disbelief.

"Quite frankly I already thought I was dead."

It clearly wasn't the right answer. Her frown deepened, and eyes narrowed. Her being so terrifying didn't make her any less striking. She had a thick musical accent I couldn't quite place.

She yanked up my left hand.

"Explain this." 

She threw my hand back down after it sparked to life again.

"I... I can't." I manage.

"What do you mean you can't?" She cries out pacing in front of me.

The other woman, moves behind me, silent as a shadow.

"I don't know what that is, or how it got there!"

She grabs me by the shoulders and growls out, "You're lying!"

Suddenly the second woman steps in, and pulls the first away from me.

"We need her, Cassandra." She speaks in a quick precise fashion, with a slight French accent.

The first woman, Cassandra, backs off and the hooded one turns around to look at me. I can see now that she has red hair peeking out from under her purple hood.

For a moment I remember Cathy, who also had red hair.

"I don't understand."

"Do you remember what happened? How this began?"

I blinked at her in surprise, she was speaking to me with much less animosity, than Cassandra had been. She was calmer, and somehow, that was more terrifying.

I looked down to my hand and tried to think back.

All I could remember was going for a run, and then the Man. Hands at my throat. Fear. I tried to control my breathing.

Fear. Fear. Fear.

Running again.

"I remember running. Things were chasing me. And then... a Woman?" I surprised myself when I spoke the words.

They weren't untrue.

It just didn't make sense.

"A woman?" The redhead prompted me.

My eyes snapped up to hers again, "She reached out to me, but then..."

Silence fell for a moment, then Cassandra stepped forward.

"Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift."

I watch as the hooded woman, whom I now know is named Leliana, leaves the small room.

I cringe backwards as Cassandra come towards me again.

She kneels down and takes my hands. She's much gentler this time. Cassandra begins to unlock the shackles from around my wrists. She doesn't meet my eyes.

"What..." I pause and swallow. "What did happen?"

Her hands still for a moment, then she continues.

"It will be easier to show you."

 

 

 

 


	2. Two Elves, a Dwarf and a Human walk into the Temple...

Somehow I find myself being dragged out into a mixture of daylight, and a sickly green glow.

The next thing I know, I am agreeing to help do whatever I can to fix this seemingly disastrous situation

An explosion can tear open the sky?

As Cassandra lead me through town I noted that all of the people, (who were glaring at me no less,) were all dressed in a very different fashion than what I was used to.

I tried to keep up a façade that I wasn’t bothered by the fact that I felt like I had somehow fallen into one of my Medieval Studies textbooks.

Well, that, with magic.

Because apparently they have magic here.

I let out a long breath as I trail behind Cassandra. We make our way up the path, and I keep my eyes averted from the sky.

“This is not real. This is not real. This is not real.” I chanted the words over to myself.

“I assure you, this is very much real.” Cassandra speaks from behind me.

I cringe and shake my head, but continue moving.

Before long we find ourselves thrown from our path, and staring down creatures that I could only conjure in my darkest of nightmares.

Cassandra calls for me to stay behind her, but as she focuses her attention on one creature, the second splits off and starts coming at me. I search frantically around for something, _anything_ , to protect myself with. Spotting a pair of daggers that had probably seen better days sticking out of the snow, I dive for them. The action sends me out of reach of the creature which had taken a swipe at me with its claws. Miraculously I roll to my feet, and gracefully land in a ready stance.

“Whoa.” I mutter, allowing myself barely a second of shock, before focusing back on the matter at hand.

The thing lunges at me again, and I dive out of the way again, this time coming around to stand behind it. I take my chance, somehow knowing that this would be the best time to strike.

I jump and sink my blades into the back of the thing’s neck, grunting as the blades grated against bone. The thing shrieked in pain and rage. I yanked the blades out, and hopped back, dropping into a defensive stance. The thing turned and tried to swipe at me, but I deflected it easily, taking the creatures now sluggish movements as an indication that it was probably safe to attack again. I switched the grip on my blades, crossing them in front of me, and swinging out with enough force, that the blades sliced through its neck, swiftly removing the thing’s head from the rest of its body.

I breathed out hard and stared down in disbelief as the it disintegrated into green and black ash, floating up towards the sickly sky.

I stared down unseeingly at the weapons in my hands.

_I just killed that… thing. What was that thing? I’m losing my mind. Since when can I fight like that? I must be hallucinating._

“Drop your weapon. _Now._ ” Cassandra’s voice dragged me out of my inner turmoil.

I turned slowly to face her, and let the daggers drop at my sides.

“Fine.” I said flatly. I didn’t really want to hang on to them anyways.

_I must be hallucinating._

“Wait.” She spoke as I started to move forward.

“I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenseless.”

I cringe and look disdainfully down at the daggers.

“I should remember that you agreed to come willingly.”

I bent down slowly and picked up the blades again, feeling the weight of them in my hands. It felt familiar, comfortable. I screwed up my face, wanting to remove them from my sight. Without thinking I hooked them to my back. I blinked after realizing what I had done.

_How did I know to do that?_

For the first time since waking up, I gazed down at what I was wearing. I was clad in some sort of armor. Which is _not_ the workout clothes I had been wearing when I was attacked. The first time. In the forest.

 _Hallucination,_ I reminded myself.

I followed after Cassandra my body somehow keeping up with the warrior woman, despite my brain feeling like it was still lagging behind.

Before long we come across a smaller version of the giant hole in the sky, with two others fighting more of the creatures. I reluctantly begin reaching for my daggers, when simultaneously the creatures dissolve into ash and float back to the tear.

The makes his way over to me quickly, grabbing my left hand and says, “Quick, before more come through!”

He’s pulling me towards the tear and pushed my hand up towards it. My hand starts buzzing and the burning as light from my hand connects to the tear. A loud ringing fills my ears and soon the pain becomes too much. I yank my hand away, and the tear slams shut with a loud bang.

I blink wide eyed at the now seemingly normal landscape.

“What did you do?” I whisper out.

“ _I_ did nothing. The credit it yours.” A voice says not unkindly from beside me.

I turn to face the man who had dragged me and forced my hand to connect to the rift. I find that my train of thought is driven from its track as my eyes fall on him.

I gape and blink a few times.

“You… You’re an… an elf!” I exclaim loudly.

The man looks nonplussed. He cuts a striking figure, despite his tattered clothing. He has a sharp jawline and even sharper eyes.

“As one would also observe of you.” He cut out smoothly.

“Wh-what? Don’t be ridiculous…” I trail off and my hands find their way to my ears.

I feel my eyes go even wider than before.

I start laughing hysterically, “Oh. My. God.”

When I catch the man and Cassandra looking at me like I’ve lost it I cut myself off abruptly. I clear my throat.

“Ah. Yes. Of course. I forgot for a moment.”

The elf tilts his head to one side, studying me. I turn away from him and more fully to Cassandra and the third person here. My gaze falls to him and it takes everything in me not to have another outburst.

_He’s a dwarf. A DWARF. Like in Lord of the Rings!_

I try to mask my disbelief with a smile, I know from the look I get from the dwarf that it falls just a tad bit short.

“So… I can help?”

“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake – and it seems I was correct.” The bald elf strode into my field of vision again.

“Meaning it could also close the Breach itself.” Cassandra spoke up, still watching me warily.

“Possibly.” The elf turned his attention from Cassandra back to me, “It seems you hold the key to our salvation.”

“Good to know! Here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever.” The dwarf spoke in a deep gravelly voice. He smiles at me, in a more genuine fashion than I had given him previously. “Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” He smirks as Cassandra makes a disgusted noise, and rolls her eyes.

I struggle to find something to say to Varric, my eyes land on the weapon that he’s resting on his shoulder.

“That’s… a nice crossbow you have there.”

He grasps the weapon with both hands and looks adoringly at it.

“Ah, isn’t she? Bianca and I have been through a lot together.”

I raise my eyebrows, “You named your crossbow Bianca?”

“Of course. And she’ll be great company in the valley.”

Cassandra steps in front of me, glaring down at Varric.

“Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated, Varric, but…”

Varric cuts her off, “Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren’t in control anymore. You need me.”

Cassandra just grunts again. There is a pause before the elf speaks up.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I’m pleased to see you still live.”

Varric snickers, “He means, ‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'”

I look at the elf – Solas – and consider him for a moment.

“Thank you.”

He inclines his head and gives me a small smile, but says, “Thank me if we manage to close the Breach without killing you in the process.”

“Onwards, then.” I say weakly.

************************************************************************

The following hours aren’t something that I remember much of. I recall getting some information out of Solas about the creatures that we had run ins with on the way to the temple.

It comes to me in bits and pieces. Flashes of memory.

Demons.

Another rift.

More people fighting.

A... Man?

Oh yes. Him.

A man that Cassandra had addressed as 'Commander'. He had walked up to me, gave me a once over and spat out, "I hope they’re right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here."

I was taken aback at the stranger's hostility. I took my time looking him over. He had elaborate armor, that was covered in grime and blood. His hair was tousled and messy, curling at the temples. He had dark circles around his eyes, and the set of his shoulders while still proud, was clearly exhausted. I searched his face, noting the scar that bisected his upper lip, the redness in his cheeks from the biting mountain air, and the golden colour of his hard eyes.

He was a person, who had seen a lot of bad in a short amount of time.

I let out a puff of air and met his stony gaze with my own.

"I hope they're right about me, too." I said softly.

I walked away from him then, leading the others forward, again. 

***********************************************************************

"I wish they would all stop staring at me." I groaned to Varric.

It was a day after I had woken up from my short coma I seemed to have fallen into after trying to close the Breach. There wasn't a single person who hadn't stopped to gape at me. Whispers of "Herald of Andraste" followed me wherever I went.  

"That probably won't happen anytime soon."

I glared at him and stuck out my tongue.

"You know, I don't think its considered polite for the Herald of Andraste to be sticking her tongue out at people."

"Shove it, Tethras." I snapped at him, unable to come up with a quick retort, I turn on my heels and stomp away.

I could hear his laughter following me. I pulled the hood of the cloak that I had acquired from the armoire that stood in the small cabin that had been allocated to me, up over my hair, partly to save my ears from the cold wind, and partly to help me hide. 

I made my way out the front gates of Haven and slowed my pace.

_Herald of Andraste._

I mulled over that title the 'people' had supposedly given me and snorted. I let my feet decide their own direction, leading me off to the right, past the soldiers running training drills and towards the trees.

"Herald!" Someone called out to me over the clanging of the practice swords glancing of each other. I quickened my pace.

"Herald!" They called out again. They were closer this time, however I was almost at the trees, and I wasn't ready to give up just yet. Their footsteps were heavy and quick behind me.

Just as I reached the trees I feel a hand come down on my shoulder. I groan inwardly.

I come to a stop, and turn slowly to face whoever decided to follow me.

I look up to find a pair of golden eyes peering at me curiously, eyes following the pattern tattooed to the face that I still wasn't used to.

Getting the first glimpse of myself earlier the previous day, was quite the ordeal. My reflection was alien and unfamiliar.

"What can I do for you, Commander?"

He appears to come back to himself, blinking and removing his hand from my shoulder.

"I... ah. I wish to apologize."

I stare openly at the man, unsure of what he means.

"I was short with you, before you entered the temple. That was undue, and I want to apologize."

I raised an eyebrow at him, and shifted my weight from one foot to another. This was the first real interaction I had had with him. War table introductions not-withstanding.

"You thought that I was the one who caused the explosion, after which demons poured from the sky and proceeded to slaughter a great number of your men. I can understand why you were 'short' with me."

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as though searching for something to say. After a moment I saved him from himself.

"Now if that's all... I'll just be on my way."

I turned on my heels and started moving away from the Commander.

"Wait. Herald!"

I paused.

"My name isn't 'Herald'."

I hear his footsteps approach me again, feet crunching in the snow.

"Where are you going?" All hesitance gone from his voice. He ignored my former statement.

I swiveled my head and gave him a look.

"Narnia."

I didn't wait to hear what he would say next, instead took off running. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to follow due to his cumbersome armor. I climbed my way up a tree, as high as I could, realizing that unlike before I no longer had a fear of heights.

I perched there for some time, my mind empty. The freezing wind on my face almost painful, but I felt like for the first time since waking up here. I could breath.

Over the course of the last few hours, I had been trying to collect information. I had gathered and understood that;

I was in a place called Ferelden, which was in Thedas. They had magic, and demons, mages - who were somehow more susceptible to demons, and Templars, who not unlike the Knights Templar from my world, are the militant order of one of the larger religious organizations in Thedas. Their main function, as I understood, were to watch and guard the mages - however, it sounded as though often the power they had over the mages was abused. The conclave that Cassandra had questioned me about had been held to try and help get peace between the Mages and Templars, who had been at war with each other, heavily because of the abused power dynamics between the groups.

I am in a completely different world than my own.

I sighed, wondering if there was a library somewhere, so that I didn't have to keep asking questions that only cause people to ask questions about me.

I think Varric was already aware something was up. But after me refusing to give him any information on my background he had given up, for the time being at least.

I could tell that he was dissatisfied with my lack of answers.

I was dissatisfied as well.

_How did I go from dying, to falling into a completely new world, and as an elf, no less?_

"Perhaps I can help with that." Solas's cool voice floated up to me.

I looked down, face burning. I hadn't realized I had spoken out loud, nor that Solas had approached me. I felt my ears twitch in annoyance.

I climbed down slowly, dropping down the last few feet, landing gracefully in front of Solas.

He studied me, his face a mask.

"You are not who we all perceived you to be." He paused, his gaze intensifying, "You do not belong here."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Varric, Solas, and Cullen!  
> What does Solas know???  
> I tried to use as little of the game dialogue as possible, (I know there was still quite a bit) but I feel like for me to properly write this story I have to include it for the time being, just to get me where I need to be.  
> If you notice any mistakes let me know, so I can make the proper changes!


	3. "You're an Elf, Ellen." "I'm a what?"

“So… what you’re telling me is that my soul has possessed this person’s body.”

“Possession suggests that the original spirt still remains within, as well as the spirit that has been anchored in the body. That is not true in your case.”

I rubbed my face with my hands. Solas and I had been walking for what felt like hours, but in reality, I know it probably hadn’t been longer than thirty minutes.

He had told me that he sensed something off about my spirit, when he was monitoring me after falling out of the Fade. He said that at first, he had assumed that it was an effect of the mark on my hand, the fad just disrupting my spirit’s force, but he was less convinced of this after he saw my surprise at being an elf.

He said he searched the fade afterwards finding markers and memories that signified that this woman’s spirit must have left her body while she was in the fade, and the progression of my spirit after dying was disrupted by the explosion, basically knocked off course and forced into this body.

“So, this person has a life and family that I have no idea about, I don’t even know her name.”

I looked at Solas, who met my gaze with an unreadable look.

“That is something that I am sure Leliana could find out for you.”

I felt my eyes go wide. “But that would mean I would have to tell them! And aren’t most of you people here super touchy about the whole ‘possession’ thing? They’ll think I’m some sort of abomination!”

“Perhaps. But I would join you if you wanted me there, to help explain your unusual circumstances.” He paused and looked out over the lake. Our walk had taken us to the opposite side of the frozen surface, faint sounds of the Commander’s drills still reached my ears.

“This is something that I think you need to tell the Inquisitions leaders.”

“Right. Can’t have people finding out that the ' _Herald of Andraste'_ isn’t who she says she is.” I spat disdainfully. Solas glanced at me sidelong, but didn’t say anything.

“I suppose that means there is no going home for me then.”

“Even if there was a way to send you back, I take it from your initial reaction, you don’t have elven people where you’re from. I would not think that a good idea.”

There was only the distant sounds of Haven, and the wind for a few moments.

“Thank you, Solas. This actually helps. We should probably go deal with it. They'll only be pissed if I keep it from them.”

He turned to me and nodded.

***********************************************

Silence met Solas after he finished speaking. I searched each of the Inquisition leader’s faces carefully. Cassandra and Cullen both looking angry and untrusting, Leliana a carefully held neutral mask, and Josephine trying not to look fearful.

“She is an abomination.” Cullen spoke first, slowly and deliberately.

I flinched at the accusation.

“No. She didn’t purposefully take hold of the body. Neither is she forcing down the original spirit that had resided in it. For all intents and purposes, she is very much like any one of you.”

Silence fell over the room again.

“Do you have any memories from the person before?” Leliana asked calmly.

I shook my head. “Just from when I was Ellen.” I thought for a moment, “However, I do seem to know certain information, knowledge that she probably had learned before, that sometimes pops into my head. But nothing personal to her.”

Leliana gave a short nod. “I will start looking into your background immediately, then. You will need to know who you are and where you come from.”

I gape at her in shock.

“You cannot be serious.” The Commander says from the other side of the room, his face mirroring the shock I am feeling.

“Deadly, Commander. Has she tried to do anything malevolent? No. She has done nothing but help us, despite being in a world she does not understand, in a body she does not recognize. All of this on top of knowing that she can never return home, because she former self _died._ ” Her words were spoken quickly, with no malice behind them.

“I do just want to help.” I said softly.

The Commander just glared at me.

_So much for that apology earlier._

Josephine looked between the Commander and Leliana and then her gaze fell back to me. This time she gave am a warm smile.

“We should consider getting you up to speed on the state of our world, yes?”

I felt my heart jump in my chest at the offer.

 _They’re not going to burn you at the stake._ My gaze flicked back to Cullen, who was still glowering at me. _Well, not yet, at least._

“I would very much appreciate that.”

Josephine nodded and started scribbling away on her clip-board-tablet-thing.

“Are there any risks to her state?” Cassandra finally spoke up, looking at Solas.

“No.” He said coolly. “As I said before. She is just like any of you. She does not posses any magical abilities.”

“There is no possibility that she will be come possessed.”

“She is at much risk as you are.”

Cassandra gave a curt nod, “Very well.”

My eyes slowly went back to the Commander. He was now staring at Cassandra as though she had abandoned all her senses.

“Is anyone else aware of your situation?” Leliana turns to me expectantly.

“No… Well actually, Varric was asking me about who I am and where I am from. I knew there was no way I could tell him the truth so I said nothing. He stopped asking after a little while, but I think he’s knows something is up. Just not what it is. Should we tell him?”

I wondered at how Varric would take the information that I was a sort-of-abomination from another world.

“Absolutely not.” Cassandra said, while Leliana said, “Perhaps it would be best.” Leliana turned to Cassandra.

“You very well know how he can get if left to his own, to find out information. We risk more people asking questions and finding out about our Herald’s past if we do not include him.”

Cassandra grunted, conceding to Leliana’s point.

Leliana then turns to Josephine, and speaks to her quickly and quietly, Josephine nodding as she scribbled away at her tablet, listening to Leliana.

I glance down at my left hand and flex it, examining the scar that glows across my palm.

“Does it trouble you?” Cassandra is looking at me with some concern.

That surprises me, as moments before she was worrying about me being an abomination.

“It stopped spreading, and no longer hurts for the most part. Just… Prickles. But it didn’t close the breach. So what use is it?”

“You did everything we asked of you.” Cassandra said more gently than I had ever heard her speak.

“And it still didn’t work.” I paused, realizing that I had everyone’s attention again.

“So… do we have a plan?”

“Solas believes that a second attempt might succeed, provided the mark has more power. The same amount of power used to open the breach.”

“That is not easily come by.” Leliana finishes.

I chuckle darkly, “Right. What harm could come from powering up something we hardly understand.”

“The obvious choice is to go to the rebel mages for help.” Leliana says matter-of-factly.

“And I still disagree,” The commander took a step forward, resting him hands on the pommel of his sword, at his hip, “The Templars could serve just as well.”

“We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into the mark-“

“Might destroy us all,” He cut Cassandra off, “The Templars could supress the breach, weaken it so-“

It was Leliana’s turn to cut off the Commander, “Pure speculation.”

He looked at her, exasperated. “ _I_ was a Templar. I know what they are capable of.”

I shook my head in surprise, “Wait, _you_ were a Templar.”

He glanced at me but didn’t reply.

_Well that was rude._

Josephine jumped in, noting the rising tension in the room.

“Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition – and you, specifically.” She turned to me.

I sighed, “That didn’t take long.”

“Shouldn’t they be busy arguing over who’s going to become Divine?” Cullen asked sounding tired.

“Some are calling you – a Dalish elf – the 'Herald of Andraste.’ That frightens the Chantry.” Choosing to ignore the Commander’s question. “The remaining Clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.”

“Well. That wouldn’t have anything to do with our very own Chancellor Roderick, would it?” I ask sarcastically.

Josephine inclines her head, “It limits our options. Approaching either group is currently out of the question.”

I thought over everything that had been said.

“So if I wasn’t with the Inquisition…”

The Commander looked at me without malice this time, “Lets be honest: they would have censored us no matter what.”

“And you not being here, is not an option.” Cassandra said.

***************************************

A few hours later, I walked slowly from the Chantry, making my way to my Cabin. The sun hung low in the sky casting long shadows over Haven. I felt like I was in a trance state.

There was so much information swirling about my head.

I shook myself out of it, and walked a little bit faster, thinking about the next few days.

I was to be leaving with Cassandra, Solas and Varric to the Hinterlands, to meet with a Mother Giselle. I thought it sounded like a horrible idea- a trap even, but the war council had insisted I go meet with her. She could be a life line for our very tiny Inquisition to get more positive notice.

I sighed and pulled on one of my ears. I walked past the fire where Varric had taken up residence most of the time, but he wasn’t there. I turned right and made my way to my cabin.

Once safe within the confines, I sat down on my bed and cried. I mourned the life I had lost, the people there. I thought of Cathy, and Ludano, and his students. I thought of my parents.

I was never going to be able to go home.

And I had to live with that.

Probably an hour later there was a knock at my door.

I stood up from the fetal position I had curled myself into, straightened my tunic, and smoothed down my hair.

A scout stood at attention when I opened my door.

“From Sister Nightingale, your Worship!” He held out a note to me.

“Thank you.” I said, trying not to cringe at the “your Worship”. I took the note from him and he saluted before turning and walking away.

I looked down curiously at the parchment in my hand, closing the door again. I walked back over to my bed and sat down. Opening it I found only a short paragraph.

_Merenwen Lavellan,_

_I have found some information regarding your clan._

_We can discuss it tomorrow before you leave._

_L._

I blinked, confused for a moment.

Then I realized, _Oh. That’s my name. Merenwen Lavellan. I do have a family somewhere. A clan._

I blinked and my heart raced. It didn’t feel right. This was not my life. I wondered again if it was possible that this was all just a hallucination.

Part of me knew it wasn’t.

I glanced over at the small mirror in the corner catching the unfamiliar reflection in it again.

Ellen had blue eyes and blonde hair, that fell just past her collarbone. She had light skin, that was free of spots. Lips that were a little too thin.

Merenwen, had long pointed ears, eyes just a little too large, a little too green. An intricate tattoo the color of grass, on her forehead and chin that, when I looked at it, the name _Dirthamen_ popped into my head. She had full lips and freckles that spattered across the bridge of her nose and cheeks, and hair a deep red. While it was a pretty face, it was a face alien and unexpected.

I little jolt went through me every time I looked saw my reflection, I didn’t recognize that face.

I groaned and tore my gaze away, moving to pull my boots back on, and throw on my cloak. I pushed out the door of my cabin. As I stomped over to Varric’s fire, he looked me up and down.

“Shit, Em. You look like you could use a drink.”

I glanced around, confused to who he was addressing.

“Oh! Me. I’m Emrys. Em is short for Emrys. Right.”

He raised his eyebrows at me. “Red filled me in on the situation. So that’s why you wouldn’t tell me anything before, huh?”

I guessed that ‘Red’ was Leliana. “So, You’re not gonna constantly glare at me like the Commander was, are you?”

He chuckled, “Nope. And don’t let Curly bother you. He’ll come around.”

I crinkled my nose. “I don’t think so."  I paused. "Curly?”

Varric smirked, “You’ll have to ask him about that one.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellen learns stuff and starts dealing with the fact, that she won't ever be able to be Ellen again.  
> Plus the war council learns the truth about her!  
> You know. Along with some game dialogue.  
> But progress! So there's that!


	4. The One in Which The Commander Gets Angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellen, now Emrys deals with the crossroads and drinks tea.

“I am _so_ done with this place.” I said it mostly to myself, but Varric must’ve heard because he snorted, but elected not to comment.

We had been gone for weeks. And the Hinterlands… well... They were _bullshit._

I had killed _people_.

The journey there was fine, we didn’t run into any problems, but as soon as we arrived and set out for the Crossroads, everything went to total and utter shit.

I shook myself out of my thoughts, trying _not_ to remember what it felt like to drive the blades of my daggers in the gaps of the Templar’s armor. Or how it felt to sneak up on the mages, attacking them from behind.

It had been instinct. I knew exactly what to do to kill them easily, and quickly.

After the fact, when my adrenaline faded, and I was able to asses the situation I could feel myself start to fall apart. I had _killed_ people. I was very aware of the people still around, the refugees, the Sisters helping out, the Inquisition scouts and recruits. I was aware of the number of eyes on me, and understood that if I lost it there, in front of everyone, it would ruin what little good reputation the Inquisition had.

So, I had taken a steadying breath, pushed the hurricane of feelings down and sheathed my daggers. Varric had been watching me closely, eyes slightly narrowed. I nodded to him once, which he returned after a moment.

I made it through the conversation with Mother Giselle, surprisingly enough. Sadly, my composure didn’t last very long.

We made it back out of the Crossroads and up the path, back towards camp when it started.

At first, I thought it was just adrenaline kicking in again. My heart started to race, and my hands started shaking. Then my breathing became irregular, until I was gasping and wheezing, like I was being strangled all over again. I don’t remember much after that, things start to get hazy, but Cassandra later informed me, that I collapsed.

She made us wait a few days before going back out again.

We were attacked by bandits shortly after leaving camp.

I killed a young man with red hair and brown eyes. I lost the contents of my stomach in a nearby bush after.

Cassandra seemed agitated and tried to make us return to camp, but I refused. I insisted that we push on. She had made a frustrated sound, and walked away shaking her head.

We proceeded in that fashion for a time. Cassandra leading, Solas walking slightly behind her, and Varric walking beside me, bringing up the rear. He hadn’t said anything for a while.

“I take it, fighting is a new experience for you.”

I didn’t look at him, but let out a shaky laugh.

“No. Where I’m from we have wars, and we have battles, but I never had to partake in them. They were far away. The country where I lived… well… it was in a relative state of peace.”

“So, the Crossroads…”

“Was the first time I’ve killed a person. Yes.” I finished for him. “It doesn’t help that in the moment, my body knows exactly what to do. How to get around them, so that they don’t see me coming. Where the weak points in their armor is. How to angle the blade just so.”

We had fallen back into silence.

I wish I could say that the rest of the trip had gotten better. But it didn’t.

In the next few fights we encountered, I froze. I was totally useless, and put the others in danger because of it.

Cassandra had written furiously that night.

I had no doubt that the letter was about me, and my inability to stomach the fighting. The killing.

After that day, however I was resolved to keep it together. And I did, for the most part. I was able to fight, when attacked, and managed to keep my food down. I pushed aside the grief that fell over me after each fight ended.

It was during the night when they found me. The nameless faces, coming back, wrapping their hands around my throat, punishing me for what I had done to them. I would sit up gasping, drenched in cold sweat, multiple times a night. I finally stopped trying to sleep.

I shook myself again, pulling myself out of the images that haunted me. I realized we were coming around a familiar bend, I could see Haven in the distance. I nearly broke down right there.

I steeled myself. _Almost there. You can cry once you’re alone._

I was thankful that the trip back was made much shorter by the horses that Dennet had sent along with us.

Once we reached the gates, I passed my reigns to the waiting stable hand, patted the horse absent mindedly, before nearly bolting for the front gates.

“Herald, Cassandra!” A voice called out.

I kept myself from groaning. I turned around slowly, to find the Commander walking over to where Cassandra was dismounting.

“Leliana asked that we meet as soon as you returned. We need your reports on the Hinterlands.”

_No!_ I screamed inside.

I saw Cassandra turn and look at me with an unreadable expression. After a moment, she nodded.

“Very well.”                                                                                                                                                          

**********************

I picked at the sleeve of my armor and shifted from foot to foot, barely registering what was being discussed around me.

“Herald?” Josephine was looking at me with concern. I looked up wide eyed, around the table at those gathered. They were all watching me.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“You’ve hardly said anything since we all got here. Have you nothing to add to Cassandra’s report?”

I winced, “Nope.”

“Nothing at all?” Leliana asked softly, raising an eyebrow.

They were each quiet, expectant.

“Well…” I drew out the word, as though I was thinking about it, “I’m not really sure what you want me to add, Cassandra pretty much covered it.” I _did_ know what they were waiting for, but I was frayed at the edges and was very close to snapping. I didn’t feel like having my mental breakdown in front of them all.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have about ten pounds of grossness on me that I would love to get off.” I spun around quickly and pushed my way through the heavy doors.

I sped past Mother Giselle, who had arrived shortly after us, down to the other end of the Chantry and through the doors that lead outside. The cold air filled my lungs and I jogged the rest of the way to my cabin. Once the door was securely shut behind me I slumped against it.

A jagged sound broke the silence and I looked around trying to find the source of the sound. It took me a moment before I realize that the sound was coming from me. I was sobbing, each time shaking my entire body. Tears wet my face, and I scrubbed at them, defiantly, even though I knew they weren’t going to be stopping anytime soon.

My ability to tell time had disappeared. I sat there against the door curling in on myself, for what could have been mere minutes or, hours. The tears had stopped at some point, but I couldn’t quite recall when.

Eventually my stupor was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. I let out a long breath and pulled myself to my feet, barely succeeding. I glanced quickly at my face in the glass, and made sure I wasn’t a total disaster. Green eyes surrounded by dark circles squinted back at me. I looked like shit, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Another knock sounded at my door and I growled at the reflection, before turning and walking back to the door and opening it.

“Yes?” I said, a little shortly.

I peered down at a short slender girl, an elf, with no facial tattoo. She had blond hair that fell to her shoulders. She looked up at me nervously.

“I apologize, Herald, the Lady Cassandra ordered this to be brought to you.”

I blinked at her a few times before moving my gaze down to the small pouch she held in her hands.

“I’m sorry… I’m afraid I don’t know what that it.” I softened my tone, aware that I didn’t need to be growling at people.

“It’s tea.” The elf girl stated, a little more confident now.

I shook my head still not understanding. Why would Cassandra send me tea?

“It induces dreamless sleep.”

It clicked into place, and I almost cried out in happiness. So, Cassandra had also noticed that I hadn’t been sleeping.

I waved the girl inside my cabin, and she proceeded to show me how to properly brew the tea over the fire in a strange looking iron kettle. After she finished she excused herself, and left my cabin.

I poured myself a cup of the tea and cringed at the taste. I downed it quickly, squirming and trying not to gag with each scalding sip.

It didn’t take long for the tea to kick in. I was out within minutes of finishing my cup.

******************************* 

I started, sitting upright, disoriented, kicking at whatever was caught around my legs. After a moment of frantically looking around, I realized I was in my cabin, in bed. That my legs were caught in the blankets. I allowed my breathing to slow and tried to recall what had scared me. Seemingly I couldn’t put my finger on it.

_Seems like the tea doesn’t prevent dreams. Only the memory of them._

I shrugged away the thought. I slept through the night, for the first time in weeks. That’s all that really mattered, right?

I yawned and stretched, cringing realizing that I was still in the pants and tunic I had been wearing under my armour, when we arrived back at Haven yesterday. The heavy length of my hair fell down against my back, and I yanked my fingers through the tangles, cursing as they caught.

_This is why you have always had shorter hair._

Dragging myself from the oppressing warmth of the blankets I tracked my way across the room and selected some clean clothes, and stuffed them in a small leather bag. I search about for a while and succeeded in finding some sort of rough soap in one of the small drawers of the armoire.  That also got stuffed into the bag. I hastily pulled on my boots and cloak, and considered my next problem.

_Where exactly do I bathe?_

I recalled seeing a small stream flowing around Haven on our trip out and back in, and while considering how cold that would be, weighed against remaining dirty, and possibly having to bathe in a shared bath house, I decided it would be worth it.

I slung the bag over my shoulder and then left the safe confines of my cabin. I pulled the hood over my head and successfully dodged most people all the way until I reached the gates. I glanced over at the Commander and then at Cassandra where she was already beating away at the training dummies, despite it being quite early. I took my opportunity as a runner called over both the Commander and Cassandra, carrying what looked like a stack of letters. Once I made it into the trees I let out a sigh of relief. If either of them had seen me, it was very unlikely that they would have let me go.

A few hours later I emerged from that same cluster of trees, shivering but feeling and smelling much cleaner. I pulled my cloak tight around me, trying to protect myself from the sweeping mountain air.

I looked at runners darted in and out of the gates of Haven. The Commander and Cassandra were both missing from sight. My ear twitched, picking up on fragments of conversation.

“Yes, she’s missing” –

“The Commander is furious” –

 “There’s been no word yet…”

I furrowed my brow.

_What’s going on? Who’s missing?_

I made my way quickly back through the gates and into the chaos, a number of recruits were coming and going. I made my way over to Varric’s fire, and found the dwarf scribbling away.

“Watcha writing there, Tethras?”

He started and whipped around, looking up at me wide eyed.

“Shit, Emrys, where have you been?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “What, the magnificent dwarf isn’t actually all-knowing?”

He opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a very angry sounding, “HERALD!” that was shouted from somewhere behind me.

I turned to find a red-faced Commander stalking up to me.

“Uh-oh.” I breathed out.

“’Well, shit’ would be more appropriate, I think.” Varric snarked from beside me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its literally been months.  
> I'm sorry.  
> I'm probably going to continue being really bad at posting frequently or on any type of schedule but I promise I will try to get better at this.  
> I'm in my third year of my program at University in which I work on getting two degrees at once, because Somebody Thought That Was A Good Idea.  
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this. (Hopefully you guys aren't cringing at my writing)  
> As always if you've noticed any issues or mistakes please let me know!! (I am finishing writing this at 11:30 at night and I don't have a beta so bear with me!)


	5. A little Birdie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Commander is Angry and Annoyed. What else is new.  
> Persistence equates to annoyance.  
> And Emrys gains a new grumpy shadow.

The commander came to a stop about two feet away from me. I hadn’t really noticed how tall he was, until I had to tilt my head back to meet his glare. I felt myself shrink under his gaze.

“Yes, Commander?” I said quietly.

“War room. Now.” He bit out, before turning on his heels and stalking away from me.

I made a face, and glanced down at Varric, who was looking rather smug.

“What?” I drew out the word. “What did I do to make him so angry now?”

Varric just shook his head and chuckled.

“You’re no help, you know that?” I spat at him as I turned and walked away, his laughter following me up the stairs and toward the Chantry.

The other Inquisition founders were already in the War Room when I got there.

“Where were you?” Cassandra practically yelled at me, as soon as I shut the door, she was nearly as red faced as the Commander.

“Uh… I wasn’t gone that long?”

“That is not the point. No one knew where you were!” The commander cut in.

I blinked at him for a moment.

“I thought I wasn’t a prisoner anymore.”

“You are not,” Josephine stated firmly, giving the commander a pointed look, “however, your safety _is_ one of the Inquisition’s upmost concerns, and when it was discovered you were missing, the worst was assumed, as no one knew where you were.”

There was silence in the War Room for a few moments.

"I understand. I apologize, I should have mentioned to someone where I was going."

******************************

“This is ridiculous!” I groaned. It had been a week since my disappearing act had caused chaos, and while the Inquisition leaders had more (Josephine) or less (the Commander) had forgiven me, they insisted that I have someone accompanying me around Haven.

My ears flattened further against my skull as my new shadow’s armor clanked, as he followed me out the front gates.

I saw the Commander look up, at my outburst, and then turn back to what appeared to be a letter he held in his left hand. I narrowed my eyes at his figure.

_Ass-hat._

I paused, looked around and sighed, turned and almost walked into my new shadow.

I side stepped around him and walked back into the little village.

I was becoming slightly stir crazy, in the little village. There wasn’t much to do and while I couldn't remember the nightmares I was having thanks to Cassandra's wonderful tea, if left to my own devices for too long I would find myself slipping into dark thoughts.

So, I had started looking for different ways to spend my time. I had discovered that I seemed to have the knack for potion making, (another skill I had gained from the stranger who had occupied this body before me) and had been helping Adan with filling orders from more healing potions and other miscellaneous types of potions and salves. When he no longer had much need for me, I convinced Harritt to allow me to try my hand at constructing my own armor. It appeared that was a skill I did _not_ have. He chased me off and I spent some time with the horses. What I really needed however, was to talk. Friends. I needed Friends. I missed Cathy and her bubbly demeanor.

But very few people actually approached me. Trying to get anyone to speak to me in a way other than "The Herald of Andraste" was impossible. Most people remained a respectful distance away and gawked, anyways.  

“You know,” I started, without looking back at my Shadow, “you’ve been following me around for the better part of seven days. You could talk to me.”

When I received no answer other than the sound of his armor clanking I came to a full stop and turned to look at him. He paused his movements as well.

As I understood it, he was likely one of the Templars that had followed the Commander to Haven from Kirkwall.

I could see very little through his ridiculous Templar helmet. I glared at him anyway.

He remained silent.

“Really? Not even your name?”

The Templar remained still.

I crossed my arms, and took two steps closer to him.

He didn’t budge.

“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” I stood there tapping my foot, and glaring at the Templar.

After a few minutes had passed with no change, I narrowed my eyes and took another step closer, so that he was an arms length away. Cautiously I raised my right hand towards his breast plate, and then quickly tapped on it three times.

“Hello? Anyone home?”

A very annoyed sounding sigh came from within the helmet, “I was given orders not to speak with you.”

“Holy crow!” I shouted and hopped away dramatically, “There is somebody in there!”

Another annoyed sigh sounded, and he shifted his weight.

I straightened and held out a hand, “Hi, I’m Emrys Lavellan, pleased to finally meet you.”

The Templar stood there for a moment, as though contemplating what to do before shrugging, and taking my hand in his gauntleted one, “Carver Hawke.”

 I beamed at the helmet-named-Carver.

“So, I suppose the Commander would be the one to blame for your stubborn silence.”

I didn’t wait for him to answer me, I swept around him, and jogged back out the gates and up to the Commander. I heard Carver’s armour clanking, as he tried to keep up with me.

“Commander.” I spoke loudly, so that he would hear me over the clanging from the training going on around us.

The commander had been walking slowly, watching the men sparring. He paused and turned around looking down at me blankly.

“Yes, Herald.”

“I was just wondering why it was that you ordered my Shadow not to speak to me.” I shifted as I heard Carver come to a stop behind me.

The commander looked exasperatedly at Carver and then back to me, “His job is to guard you, not to be your friend.”

“I apologize Commander,” Carver spoke from behind me, “She is very _persistent_.”

The Commander looked at Carver dryly, “…You’re Garrett Hawke’s brother, I thought you would be used to _persistence_.”

I jumped in the conversation that was happening over my head, “Is ‘ _persistence_ ’ supposed to be code for annoying? If so, you’re both rude.”

The Commander looked down at me, with a raised eyebrow, but said nothing.

The pause drew out and I shifted my weight, knowing that the Commander was likely purposely trying to make me uncomfortable so I would leave. I blurted out the first thing I could think of that might annoy him.

“Why does Varric call you Curly?”

The Commander looked vaguely irritated, and a laugh covered by a cough sounded from inside Carver’s helmet.

I supressed a smile at my success.

“Was there anything of actual import that you needed to speak to me about, Herald?”

I knew a dismissal when I was receiving one.

“Apparently not. See you later, _Curly_.” I heard the Commander scoff as I walked away. Once out of ear shot, I looked over to Carver.

“So, are _you_ going to tell me why Varric calls him Curly?”

Carver turned and looked down at me, “You already got me in trouble once today. No.”

“You were hardly in trouble. Trust me, I know what it looks like when you’re in trouble with him.”

Carver said nothing, so I decided to change the subject.

“How can you see anything in there.”

Another annoyed sound came from within Carver’s helmet.

“Seriously! Isn’t it hard to see?”

“No.” Carver said flatly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its a genuine question, no? How the hell do the Templars see anything in those ridiculous helmets?! I feel like this chapter is short, I apologize. Its kind of a seguay chapter to get me where I need to go.  
> I finished writing this chapter while I was slightly wine drunk, so if you find mistakes please let me know (woo Fridays).  
> Anyways, I hope you guys are enjoying this story so far!  
> Let me know what you think!!  
> I am doing my very best to get the ball rolling. (I'm sorry!!)  
> Next, Val Royeaux and a certain group of Mercs.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Dragon Age fanfic, and only my second fanfic ever!  
> Feedback is very much welcomed and encouraged, so please let me know what you think!  
> If you noticed any mistakes please, please, please let me know so I can fix it!


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